Saturday, December 31, 2011

There Is Power In Letting Go

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
-- Oprah Winfrey 

 

Letting Go..

A few years ago, my car got stolen. I could remember my first reaction after finding out about it. I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to do. I was in Malaysia that time, miles apart from my home country when it happened. 

My first reaction was of course I got so angry. I started blaming, feeling bad about the loss and really got so frustrated. However, after like an hour of hating everything on what went wrong, it struck me that I was actually helpless on that particular moment. I saw myself behaving like I still could control what happened.

A few days after that incident, I was with a friend. I mentioned that my car got stolen. She gave me a surppirsed look and told me that how come I didn't look like someone whose car just got stolen. What she meant was, she did not see or hear any bitterness, anger or even disappointment. 

Of course, I definitely got angry during that time. While I was at the airport in Malaysia, I expressed my frustration and blame the people who were with me and yet not even there when it happened. I got back to my senses and realized that I was all the time trying to control the ucontrollable. I realized that the only thing I can control was my reaction towards what happened.

Instead of giving time and energy blaming the circumstance and people, I learned to choose finding and understanding the lesson from it. I told myself that perhaps something bigger is going to happen for me. I guess I was given that problem for I am the type of person who could handle it, perhaps that experience was teaching me not to be attached to things and perhaps, its trying to teach me about letting go.

I arrived back in the Philippines with a different perspective.I gave up on what should, could, have happened. I accepted the situation and tried to look for the best way possible to move myself forward after what happened.

Although I made it clear that I was not happy about it, I didn't blame the one who was responsible for guarding it while I was away. Yes, I never got back the car, yet I got back a lot of lesson about choosing peace of mind over being right and letting go over trying to control circumstances and things.

I know for sure that life will give us a lot of surprises and sometimes those surprises might be things we don't really like or something that will really hurt us or not even make us happy. That experience allowed me to accept that we don't have any control at all on what life will throw at us however, we have total control over ourselves on how we will handle it.

Yes, it's really difficult to do this most especially if we will look how things could have been prevented even before it happened. Its difficult to clear our minds when we are emotionally charged. We will definitely get frustrated for we know what we could have done something even before undesirable things could happen. 

 Most of us will just get stuck with these undesirable experiences and find it difficult to get unstuck. Most of us will dwell on how bad things happened instead of looking into the other aspect of learning to let go of trying to control things and focusing our minds clearly on what needs to be done.

After what happened, I decided to choose the kind of story that would allow me to move forward. I'm sure if I still dwell on how terrible things happened, I'd definitely bring it in all aspects of what I do. I realized that at the end of the day, my peace of mind depends on me and not on others and part of achieving peace of mind is sometimes learning to let go over the need to control and the need to be right. 

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Who Surrounds You?

"You are the average of five people closest to you"~Jim Rohn

 

Just last month, my Chinese Feng Shui consultant, lets call him Master Yen, after giving me an overview of my year for the coming 2012, reminded me again not to wear certain colors which are inauspicious for me.

 

I know some of you probably will tell me that I am nuts for believing in Feng Shui. Well, you’re probably no different than I am. I’m sure that sometime in your life you probably opened the newspaper and went to the Horoscope page. Perhaps checking out if its a good or bad day for you or what other possible great things might happen to you.

 

Despite all our beliefs, I’m sure in one way or another you went to look for things that would contribute in making yourself better, whether its a book or people who will support you towards what you intend to happen in your life. There’s nothing wrong using these tools, provided we don’t rely EVERYTHING we do in it.

 

If you will look it up on Wikipedia, Feng Shui is believed to help improve one's life by receiving positive qi. It started 3,500+ years ago even before the invention of magnetic compass. Often, it is used to orient buildings in an auspicious manner. Many including famous people of today are using this ancient science at home as well as at work to improve all of aspects of life, from health to relationships to finances. A lot of business people, Bill Gates, Richard Branson and even Donald Trump, have admitted to have consulted with a Feng Shui master before putting up some of his buildings specifically Trump Tower. 

 

I have always believed that it only makes sense that I invest on anything that would align my life towards what I intend to make with it. Don’t get me wrong. I don't rely my life on Feng Shui yet, I believe that once a year consultation is enough to set my year in the right perspective and to have my life work and not against nature. Even Donald Trump said, "I don't have to believe in Feng Shui. I do it because it makes me money".

 

Even Master Yen would say that a lot of people tend to depend their luck on Feng Shui or even on things, which is totally crazy. Even before I went to consult, I already believe I am lucky. We all are. I just want to know what else can I do more to make use of the luck that I have in me. That's exactly what Master Yen also told me. We are already born lucky, we just have to find out what enhances it more and leverage on it.

 

As I was listening to him, reminding me again of the auspicious colors for me, I kind of realized how important it is for Feng Shui to align our lives to what is positive and be aware or careful of our environment.  I get to realize then, our environment doesn't just include things, it also includes people. So this is precisely the reason why it is also important that we also somehow “Feng Shui” the people that we are always with. Are they negative people, people who always complain? People who needs and demands our attention all the time? Are they passionate? Do they inspire you? If your answer is no, then its time to find new friends.

 

In fact, true enough, the people around us, impacts us. They can affect our thoughts, emotions and actions. I could remember when my parents decided to transfer us to another place away from an environment in which drugs and prostitution was the only way to get a living. My parents were setting the best intentions for us and that’s why they chose to transfer us in a place that would align with the best future they planned for us.

 

I've lost a lot of people in my life. However, I did not regret it. For one, I have found the right people who will support me in the path I have chosen. I have lost some, however I also gained a lot. It's difficult to let go of people whom we know takes a lot of energy from us, making us feel worse and not good about ourselves. Yet, if we really commit to the life we want, I'm sure we will attract the right people in our lives.

 

So, it is not just important that we Feng Shui our environment, our environment consists as well of people we are always with. If you can't see yourself leaving those friends or people who really just drain you and takes away a lot of energy from you, start having a conversation with them and tell them how their behavior is affecting you. If having a conversation with them doesn't work, then you need to simply make a choice. 

 

Ultimately, as Voltaire said, we need to take care of our garden.There are some in our garden that we need to weed out, there are some we still need to talk to and there are some we must nurture. Sometimes in fact we need to create our own garden if the garden we are in, no longer contributes to our growth and success. 

 

We all have the right to have the best life and so it is only vital that we choose the kind of people we are always with. Choose wisely.

 

Friendship

 

 

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

We Get What We Ask For

"That is what I want to call thought, which includes emotion, body state, physical reaction, perception and everything else"~David Bohm, physicist

 

Few days ago, I got to meet a friend of my friend Ford. Let's call his friend Steve. It was actually just accidental that Steve got to accompany Ford that day. So since me and Ford have all the time, I started having a conversation with Steve to get to know him better. Steve is already aware that I am into business. In the beginning, he got to share to me what he does and told me some of the things he did also before when he went to business as well. 

One particular thing that caught my attention was that, I observed that most of the time, Steve always mentioned how he's not very good in talking to people. He pointed out that one of the reasons why he did not succeed in his business is because he does't have communication skills. He also emphasized that's he is the shy type and how he couldn't stand just being in a crowd. He further said, that self-confidence is something he doesn't have.

I know how exactly Steve feels. I can truly relate to what he was sharing with me. I am actually grateful that he took the courage to tell me things that most people won't really open up to someone they just met. The only difference between me and Steve? I changed my story about myself years ago.

I realized that we didn't acquire these stories about ourselves in a short span of time. In fact, we have acquired it through repetition. We keep on repeating these stories in our thoughts and in words, fully unaware of the impact of those "self-talk" in us. The more we keep on thinking about it, the more we keep on saying it, then suddenly it becomes our truth. 

I realized that the more I dwell on what I thought I cannot do, the more I am giving it power to run my life. I too, before believed that Im not like most people I know that is gifted in communication. Speaking in front of people is something I could never imagine myself doing. I went into college thinking that I will make it through even if I don't recite in class. Yet, I was able to pull it because I know that if there is one person who would be able to change my situation, that would be me. 

Sometimes, it's difficult to put an end to old habits that really no longer contributes for us to move forward. To change a habit, we need to put a new one. Yes, it's not easy yet, we need to understand that if we want to have power over things, it has to start with us changing the stories about it that no longer serves us. 

I guess the key for all of us is to accept in ourselves that there is still a lot of areas in us we need to work on. There's nothing wrong with being shy, not being self-confident. However what makes this bad is if we keep bringing our limiting stories about ourselves and not taking steps to do something about it. Come to think of it, if it's something we don't want, why still hold on to it? If its no longer serving us, why still keep on telling this to ourselves and making ourselves believe that indeed we are shy, not confident and so on and so forth? If its something that stops us from moving forward, why not work on doing something about it rather than allow it to disempower us?

I'm sure there are a lot of things we can do to do something about it. For Steve, one thing he can begin considering is that he needs to be with people no matter how it may seem uncomfortable for him in the beginning. We will always meet people unless of course we decided to confine ourselves inside our room forever. Funny that while Steve was so focused on telling me his being shy and not confident, he was not aware that simply opening himself up during our conversation is already a step towards putting behind his shyness.

Besides, I was not aware he's shy. He was the one who informed me about it. I didn't ask, Steve, are you shy?" What do I mean by this? Unconsciously sometimes we teach people how to treat us. I told myself repeatedly that speaking in front of class is simply not for me. I could remember what I often told myself, "I'm not good enough",we're poor and being self-confident is only for rich people", I'd better be good in other things than in academics etc." Not to mention, I did everything to avoid it. So how did I end up? I failed of course.

Why? it's no brainier. I asked for it. In fact, the one who assessed my academic status before graduation was surprised how come I failed in a very basic course in communication and repeated it yet got the highest grades in succeeding communication subjects. My professor who failed me (who happens to be his friend) told him that I was always absent, if ever I entered class I was often late, never recited and seldom participated in class discussions. What struck me was this, "I'm not sure if she really wanted to be in class from day one. I just didn't see it".

My professor gave me exactly what I asked for. Not that I literally asked to fail. What I mean is, everything about me that time, is asking for failure. My thoughts, my words and my body. That's exactly how I related to his class, so that's what I got.

 However, I started seeing failing as a gift. It was an opportunity for me to be good at something. I guess most of the time we tend to focus on those things we think paralyzes us rather than do something about it to stop it from running our lives. What I'm sure I did that time to finally started changing myself, I simply took small steps one at a time. I started considering that being good in communication is something I can learn and reciting is an avenue to practice conquering my fear. When I started considering that, my world shifted. 

It is important that we start noticing the things we keep on saying about ourselves. Is it something's that allows us to see the good in us or is it something that stops us from being the kind of person we wanted to be? Again, what we focus on expands. We always have a choice what to focus on. Come to think of it, if we will just spend the same energy on what is good and bad in us, why not choose to spend it on things we are good at and can still improve on? Doing this, we take back power and not assign it to others and take responsibility for our lives.

 

Gift of a Giver

 

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Sometimes We Need to Feng Shui The People We Are With.

 

Just last month, my Chinese Feng Shui consultant, lets call him Master Yen, reminded me again not to wear certain colors, for it takes away luck in me. 

 

I know some of you probably will tell me that I am nuts for believing in Feng Shui. Well, you’re probably no different than I am. I’m sure that sometime in your life you probably opened the newspaper and went to the Horoscope page. Despite all our beliefs, I’m sure in one way or another you went to look for things that would contribute in making yourself better, whether that is a book or people who will support you towards the path you want to take. There’s nothing wrong using these tools, provided we don’t rely EVERYTHING we do on it. 

 

If you will look it up on Wikepedia, Feng Shui is believed to help one improve life by receiving positive qi. It is actually a system of geomancy using the laws of Chinese astronomy. It covers 3,500+ years ago before the invention of magnetic compass. Often, it is used to orient buildings in an auspicious manner.

 

I have always believed it is only proper that I invest on anything that would align my life towards what I intend to happen with it. My Feng Shui consultant does not only give me insights on the proper orientation of my house but as well how I properly use what is auspicious for me when it comes to colors that enhances positive aura.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I don't rely my life with Feng Shui yet, I believe that once a year consultation is enough to set my year in the right perspective. I have always believed that anything that would support my intention, I am for it. Even Master Yen would say that a lot of people will depend their luck on Feng Shui or even on things, which is totally crazy. I, for one, I don't believe in getting anything without putting time and effort. Even before I went to consult, I already believe I am lucky. We all are. I just want to know what else can I do more to make use of the luck that I have in me. That's exactly what Master Yen also told me. We are already born lucky, we just have to find out what enhances it more and leverage on it.

 

As I was listening to him, reminding me again of the auspicious colors for me,  I kind of realized how important it is for Feng Shui to align our lives to what is positive.  I get to realize then, our environment doesn't just include things, it also includes people. So this is precisely the reason why it is also important that we also “Feng Shui” the people that we are always with. Are they negative people, people who always complain? People who needs our attention all the time? 

 

In fact, true enough, the people around us, impacts us. They can affect our thoughts, emotions and actions. I could remember when my parents decided to transfer us to another place away from an environment in which drugs and prostitution was the only way to get a living. My parents were setting the best intentions for us and that’s why they chose to transfer us in a place that would align in what they plan for our future.

 

I've lost a lot of people in my life. However, I did not regret it. For one, I gained the right people who will support me in the path I have chosen. I have lost some however I also gained a lot. It's difficult, to let go of people whom we know is taking a lot of energy from us, making us feel worse and not good about ourselves. Yet if we really commit to the life we want, I'm sure we will attract the right people who will be with us. 

 

So it is not just important that we Feng Shui our environment, our environment consists as well of people we are always with. If you can't see yourself leaving those friends or people who really just drain you and takes away a lot of energy from you, start having a conversation with them and tell them how their behavior is affecting you and that your relationship with them is important to you that’s why you’re having this conversation with them to make it work. If talking does not work, then you need to make a choice.

 

Ultimately, as Voltaire said, we need to take care of our garden. Their are some in our garden that we need to weed out, there are some we need to talk to and there are some we need to nurture. I believe we all have the right to have the best life, so it is only vital that we choose the kind of people we are always with.

 

 

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Appreciating The Process And Not Just the Outcome

red japanese parasol

This umbrella is a special product of the city of Gifu. Its made using Mino Wachi, a strong local paper. This is one of the traditional crafts in Japan that is difficult to make with over 100 steps involved from start to finish (Wikipedia)

And to think we complain on the process of becoming successful... This is just an umbrella yet the process involved 100 steps from start to finish. This umbrella reminds me of the importance of focusing on the process and not just the outcome. There is nothing wrong trying to achieve a specific goal. However, most of the time when we just focus on the outcome, we cannot deny the fact that it stresses us out and suffocates us. We must learn to better focus and appreciate on the joy in the process. Doing this, we'll more likely achieve positive results and sustain momentum.

Indeed, nowadays most of us resort to quick fixes. We want immediate solutions to our problems forgetting that most of the time everything takes time. It takes time before a caterpillar transforms to become a butterfly. It takes time before a bud blossoms. It takes time to create a work of art that would become a masterpiece. It takes time before a novice finally competes in the Olympics. We forget that to really achieve impeccable results in everything we do, we need to allow ourselves to be patient, love the difficult and love the process, find the joy in it, especially if what we thrive for to achieve in this lifetime is what really matters to us: our dreams.

 

 

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Living Life Deeply and Fully

Have you ever asked yourself, from now and until the last day you will stay here on earth, what are gonna do in between? How are you gonna spend it? We can never turn back time. The clock will always move every second, every minute and every hour. One thing I know for sure is, this, I've chosen to spend it fully being with people that really matters to me, making a difference by being in a business that changes people's lives.

A lot of people go home tired because they are doing things they don't like to do. What makes it more sad is that they drag themselves to do it no matter how sick and tired they are already.

How many of us are really living up to the life we say we always wanted? The life we have. Always dreamed of?

Going to bed so used up and exhausted is something I look forward to bec I know I have given my best to those things that I truly love to do and which makes me feel so alive. Let us not squander time coz we can never go back to yesterday, we can only remember it and not do anything about it anymore coz it's done. The only thing that we can still do something about is the moment we have NOW.

"Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire"~Samuel Johnson

Saturday, June 25, 2011

What is your life map?

I have always been fascinated by maps. In fact I love reading maps. I remember during my Girl Scout years when I was still in high school, we had our Orienteering, I made one mistake that taught me to learn reading maps very carefully. I was the first one to start in the Orienteering yet the last one to arrive simply because I did not read carefully the map given to me! I was so focused to end as a winner because I am an athlete and I believe I can ran faster than the rest and definitely have stronger stamina than the rest yet I ended up last. Why? because at the end of the day if we don't read a map carefully and use it to where we are going, no amount of strength or stamina will do. Well, stamina and strength will still get you there yet do not expect that you will end up victorious.

I learned to be good in reading maps as well because one of the businesses I have requires I be good at it. There's no Google Map before. So I get to use this one below, a Topographic Map, for me to get specific details of islands. 

Img_0489

I have lots of Topograpic Maps, and before I visit an island, I already have a mental picture of what it is and what it looks like etc. just by simply looking at it on the Topo Map. Right now Google Maps has provided a tool so powerful that anywhere we are we can already access specific details of almost anything. 

The same thing in life, if the map we are using to get from where we are now to where we wanted to be is unclear, we will definitely have a hard time arriving at our destination. Several times I experienced this and its a total waste of time getting lost then finding out, by simply not taking time to read maps carefully, to end up going back to the beginning. So that's one lesson I will never forget and so I vowed to never get lost again by simply not taking time to read maps. 

So I got fascinated by this one particular book because the artist is so good in making a visual representation of Tokyo and reading it, I feel like I am also walking with him as he explored Tokyo on foot. The maps in the books reminded me the importance of having a clear mental picture of where we wanted to be.

Blog_tokyo

What I did, I put on some of my photos I took from my phone, when I was on those particular places.

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This place in Tokyo became even more famous of Gwen Stephanie's "Harajuku Girls"

Blog_tokyo003
What I like here is the Southern Terrace. Its one nice place to have a cup of coffee. I didn't include it here already but in the map you will find a bridge connecting from Takashimaya. From Takashimaya crossing the bridge is the Southern Terrace. 

Blog_tokyo4

Map reading is exciting. For me, its an adventure especially if its a place I wanted to be even. A map that is clear will get us to anywhere we want to and faster even if the destination for us is unfamiliar. So I guess this also applies to where we wanted to be perhaps in the next 5-10 years of our lives.

Do you have a map where you are going? and not just in the next 5-10 years but perhaps even in this lifetime? and how clear is it? I believe a map going from one place to another is very important, especially if its gonna be used to get to the destination we wanted in life. And for me, having a map of where we wanted to be in our life, is the most exciting and the greatest adventure of all. 

 

 

Untitled

I have always been fascinated by maps. In fact I love reading maps. I remember during my Girl Scout years when we had our Orienteering, that's one mistake that taught me to learn reading maps very carefully. I was the first one to start yet the last one to arrive simply because I did not read carefully the directions given to me! So that's one lesson I will never forget and so I vowed to never get lost again by simply not learning to read maps. 

So I got fascinated by this on particular book because the artist is so good in making a visual representation of one of my favorite cities.

Blog_tokyo

What I did, I put on some of my photos I took from my phone when I was on those particular places.

Blog_tokyo

This place in Tokyo became even more famous of Gwen Stephanie's "Harajuku Girls"

Blog_tokyo003
What I like here is the Terrace. One nice place to have a cup of coffee.
Blog_tokyo

 

 

Friday, June 24, 2011

Making The Effort To Succeed

I have seen a lot of people starting in business very enthusiastic then to find out later on that they gave up doing it. Yes its not easy to be in business however it makes me wonder how come people who have qualities and advantages to succeed yet end up quitting.

 

So here is what I have observed. People who quit in general most often boils down to one thing: They cannot handle obstacles.

 

Yet, in every thing we choose to go into, whether business, sports etc., there will always be obstacles along the way to succeed.

 

I believe that the lessons in business is not far from how we should also view life. Indeed, there will be obstacles along the way. What most people have in mind when they go into something is that everything will go as planned. What they don’t know is that obstacles will come and that most of the time, these obstacles will definitely disturb, disorient and eventually disappoint us. 

 

I am no longer surprised when people, who went into business then quit, tell me the reasons why they are quitting. Most often its all about being disappointed about something and most of the time their disappointments comes from failed expectations. We expect to succeed in everything we do yet we did not get what we expected. For example, we expect people will give us the support we need yet they did not, then we get disappointed; we expect people to treat us the way we wanted to be treated, yet they did not, so again we get disappointed; we expect to earn immediately yet we did not and so again we get disappointed and etc. Since we don’t have the mental toughness most entrepreneurs have when it comes to handling disappointments, we finally tell ourselves, “maybe this is not for me”, “maybe there is something better out there for me”, “I no longer find meaning in what I do”, etc., so finally we decided there’s no other way but to give up.

 

As I was reading one of my favorite books, The Inner Game of Tennis, written by W. Timothy Gallwey. I get reminded again what obstacles are in relation to the goals we have set for ourselves. I play tennis and this book helped me a lot to improve my success in the court. Although Gallwey’s book is about tennis, its principles is applicable for those who wants to be the best in what they do.  One thing I learned from him is to consider this: the more challenging the obstacle we face, the greater the opportunity for us to discover and extend our true potential. The potential is always in us but until it got manifested in action, it will remain hidden in us.

 

We probably have set a a goal we wanted to achieve and we try our best to achieve it. The thing is, as Gallwey said, there’s actually no point of giving up when we understand that in true competition, no one is defeated. So, our goals simply presents obstacles to us. There is a huge difference between being concerned to succeed and concerned about making the effort to succeed. The former, believe it or not, you cannot control the outcome and this leads to anxiety and you trying very hard. Yet the latter, we can control the effort we put to succeed in accomplishing our goal. 

 

Japanese people has a way of reminding themselves of giving their best effort. You would often hear the word  頑張って (がんばって) Gambatte! meaning do your best or persevere to reach your goal.

 

Perhaps, there’s just very few people who likes challenges. I for one, I like challenges. It allows me to explore my capabilities in overcoming the obstacle my goal presents. One thing I know for sure is that the obstacles we face is simply an obstacle coming from our goal. The moment we give up, we eventually give up to the goal we set for ourselves. We will not be given an obstacle that is not aligned to that particular goal we wanted. In fact, we should stop and ask ourselves, is this obstacle, once i overcome it, will lead me to my goal? Will it be worth my effort to overcome this one? So it may seem crazy for some, yet, I learned in my years, more than a decade actually, of being an entrepreneur is learning to give our maximum effort in overcoming obstacles and finding out if overcoming is going to be worth our effort. 

 


 

Making The Effort To Succeed

I have seen a lot of people starting in business very enthusiastic then to find out later on that they gave up doing it. Yes its not easy to be in business however it makes me wonder how come people who have qualities and advantages to succeed yet end up quitting.

 

So here is what I have observed. People who quit in general most often boils down to one thing: They cannot handle obstacles.In every thing we choose to go into, whether business, sports etc., there will always be obstacles.

 

I believe that the lessons in business is not far from how we should also view life. Indeed, there will be obstacles along the way. What most people have in mind when they go into something is that everything will go as planned. What they don’t know is that obstacles will come and that most of the time, these obstacles will definitely disturb, disorient and eventually disappoint us. 

 

I am no longer surprised when people, who went into business then quit, tell me the reasons why they are quitting. Most often its all about being disappointed about something and most of the time their disappointments comes from failed expectations. We expect to succeed in everything we do yet we did not get what we expected. For example, we expect people will give us the support we need yet they did not, then we get disappointed; we expect people to treat us the way we wanted to be treated, yet they did not, so again we get disappointed; we expect to earn immediately yet we did not and so again we get disappointed and etc. Since we don’t have the mental toughness most entrepreneurs have when it comes to handling disappointments, we finally tell ourselves, “maybe this is not for me”, “maybe there is something better out there for me”, “I no longer find meaning in what I do”, etc., so finally we decided there’s no other way but to give up.

 

As I was reading one of my favorite books, The Inner Game of Tennis, written by W. Timothy Gallwey. I get reminded again what obstacles are in relation to the goals we have set for ourselves. I play tennis and this book helped me a lot to improve my success in the court. Although Gallwey’s book is about tennis, its principles is applicable for those who wants to be the best in what they do.  One thing I learned from him is to consider this: the more challenging the obstacle we face, the greater the opportunity for us to discover and extend our true potential. The potential is always in us but until it got manifested in action, it will remain hidden in us.

 

We probably have set a a goal we wanted to achieve and we try our best to achieve it. The thing is, as Gallwey said, there’s actually no point of giving up when we understand that in true competition, no one is defeated. So, our goals simply presents obstacles to us. There is a huge difference between being concerned to succeed and concerned about making the effort to succeed. The former, believe it or not, you cannot control the outcome and this leads to anxiety and you trying very hard. Yet the latter, we can control the effort we put to succeed in accomplishing our goal. 

 

Japanese people has a way of reminding themselves of giving their best effort. You would often hear the word  頑張って (がんばって) Gambatte! meaning do your best or persevere to reach your goal.

 

Perhaps, there’s just very few people who likes challenges. I for one, I like challenges. It allows me to explore my capabilities in overcoming the obstacle my goal presents. One thing I know for sure is that the obstacles we face is simply an obstacle coming from our goal. The moment we give up, we eventually give up to the goal we set for ourselves. We will not be given an obstacle that is not aligned to that particular goal we wanted. In fact, we should stop and ask ourselves, is this obstacle, once i overcome it, will lead me to my goal? Will it be worth my effort to overcome this one? So it may seem crazy for some, yet, I learned in my years, more than a decade actually, of being an entrepreneur is learning to give our maximum effort in overcoming obstacles and finding out if overcoming is going to be worth our effort. 

 


 

Monday, June 20, 2011

Conan O'Brien Delivers 2011 Dartmouth College Commencement Address

 

I have always admired Conan O’ Brien. I always watch his show when he was still at NBC. In fact, its the only show I watch in NBC. Aside from being a funny guy and one great comedian, he can hit you right through your heart yet you end up laughing at it or yourself. Now finding out he gave a commencement speech to graduating students in Dartmouth College was already hilarious. Watching him, was even more hilarious. I think President Kim of Dartmouth was courageous enough to invite a comedian like Conan to give a commencement speech in which traditionally commencement speeches are supposed to be “serious”.

 

His speech indeed was hilarious yet it created an impact. He made an important point about being inferior, about the reality out there after college, “that’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. I’m talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg." He may have said it in very funny way yet we know for fact that that is what reality is after graduation. In fact I consider it a blow to graduates when he started his speech with, “My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair. For example, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving this weekend, and Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight. Deal with it.  Another example that life is not fair: if it does rain, the powerful rich people on stage get the tent. Deal with it.”

 

Although we laugh at it, we know for a fact that there’s truth in it. One thing that made me laugh when he said something as well to the parents of the graduates "Many of you haven’t seen your children in four years. Now you are about to see them every day when they come out of the basement to tell you the WiFi isn’t working". The he went on to say something about failure and quoted Nietzsche, "Nietzsche famously said “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  But what he failed to stress is that IT ALMOST KILLS YOU.  Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting.  What Nietzsche should have said is  “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning." Yet he ended his speech with a really moving message, “It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.  It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can be a catalyst for profound re-invention” and I totally agree with this. He further said, “ In 2000, I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that.  But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come.  The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.” Read Transcript of Conan's Address

 

 

True enough, in life those who really succeed are those people who are willing to fail and be disappointed along the way. Most of the time failure is a defining moment. Its either gonna break or make us and those who succeed leverage on their failure and spring back successful.

 

Here is Conan’s speech and even if you never went to college, not yet graduating or graduated already, I believe it speaks to all of us who are constantly run by fear. Its about time we finally say goodbye to it. Watch in Youtube

 

 

 

 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

In life's challenges

"When I despair I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it...always"-Mahatma Gandhi

I ponder upon this powerful wisdom of Mahatma Gandhi. As we are experiencing challenges in life, the only thing that matters is we know where we come from and we come from love. Anyone resisting it are simply people who cannot accept this gift of contribution.

Wrote and sent via Secret Diary.