One of the people I really admire was Dr. Buckminster Fuller. I do believe the current generation may not be familiar with him, however he invented much of the greatest inventions in the world. He was popularly known in the early 1960’s for his Geodesic Domes.
Harvard University claims he was one of their noted graduates, although he never graduated from Harvard. The American Institute of Architects (AIA), hailed Dr. Fuller or “Bucky” as one of America’s greatest architects. He was not an architect. John Denver called Dr. Fuller, “Grandfather of the Future.”
Dr. Fuller was known as a “Futurist.” He was also known as “The Planet’s Friendly Genius” because he dedicated his life to a world that worked for all things and all people. “Bucky” (as he was usually called by friends) was an environmentalist of the universe before the world knew what an environmentalist was, much less the universe. In other words, he was a very big thinker.
I believe nothing happens for a reason. In my search for finding meaning in my life, I was able to find him. I guess, although he was gone already, his work became an inspiration to me. He came into my life like a mentor and has continuously inspired me to never give up.
One thing that I will never forget about him was during the early years of his life before he became the “Bucky” he was known today. In 1927 when he started a family and built a construction business and became successful, his four years old daughter died. He began drinking heavily until his business went bankrupt. He blamed his bankruptcy by his business partners. His bankruptcy made him lose confidence with himself, his associates and his ability to provide. One day he stood at the edge of Lake Michigan and asked himself, “Am I an utter failure?” He said that if that was true, he’d better get himself out of the way so that his wife and his baby can be taken cared of by his family. He again asked himself, “ Am I going to be a drag on them, or is there any possible reason I can see why I ought to go on?” Then realized that since he had nothing left to lose, it’s the best time then to start thinking for the first time in his life.
He realized that he doesn’t have the right to eliminate himself. He does not belong to himself. He belongs to the universe.
He set up his life as an experiment. He would see what kind of difference a person like him, a failure, who never excelled in school, failed at business could make a difference in the lives of his fellow human beings.
The story of Bucky is one of the best stories of “hitting bottom”. What makes his story unique is not the circumstances that happened to him but the unusual turn he took when he bounced back.
As one of my favorite authors, Tracy Gross said in her book, The Last Word On Power, “ If you indeed have nothing to lose, then who are you to be? What choices do you have between now and the time you go to the ground?"
Although what happened to Bucky was more profound, I had my own experience of what it was to “hit bottom”. As everyone had known, our business had its experience of bankruptcy as well. It was during the year 2005 when our real estate business went to a downfall. It was something I will never forget because I remember thinking that time, how were we going to start all over again?
It was a very frightening experience because for the first time in my life, I really didn't knew what was going to happen to my family and me. We could not pay our bills. I remember not having electricity for months and eating sardines day in and day out. I remember credit card companies running after us, calling us, threatening us. All our cars were gone; we sold it to pay for the liabilities of our business. I remember being called by our landlord in the middle of the night collecting our apartment rent. I remember that during that worst time, we found our true friends.
Everyday, as I looked at my oldest son, I couldn't help but felt ashamed. I felt for the first time in my life I failed as a mother. I really cried in my room everyday because of not knowing what’s going to happen to us. I looked at my husband and I truly felt very sorry because I know how much our business meant to him. The shock of being left by his so-called “friends” was unbearable for him and it took awhile before he finally accepted that the friends he considered as his friends, were never really friends when he was the one who was already in need.
For the first time in my life, I experienced true courage. There were a lot of moments that I was already playing with the thought of going back and work in a company. I remember arguing with my husband and telling him that no matter what I will never ever go back being employed and going back to the same life I had before. I told him that we would work it out together, and start all over again because what happened to us is just temporary. I told him that there’s something huge coming for this to happen. In my heart, I truly see and believe that.
I never felt so sure in my life. For the first time, I worked like there was no tomorrow. I started doing things that I did not usually do like borrowing money. Is started building everything from scratch, working day in and day out emailing clients, making write ups, handling collectors and banks. I taught myself to learn about finances and not rely interpretations of our bank statement from an accountant.
I started REALLY speaking out. I learned to collect money whereas before I just wait for people to pay us, sometimes accepting the fact that they really did not intend to pay from the very beginning they borrowed. I gave up looking good and did not care a damn hell what other people think of me. I gave up being nice. For the first time in my life, nothing matters more than making every moment counts. I felt so free.
I chose not to survive. I chose a game worth playing and that is to create abundance. I created that possibility because I have nothing that time. Abundance did not exist that time in my life. I chose to create it after realizing that everyone has always been given a chance to start all over again, to start from nothing. And as my favorite Life Coach Jerry said, “from nothing comes everything.”
There were a lot of moments that I almost succumbed to giving up and accepting fate. As God was tempted, I was also tempted by the devil to go back to surviving. I am just human. So every time the thought of being comfortable enters my mind, I go back to my commitment; I go back to abundance. There is no abundance in choosing to work for someone else. Everyday I kept on reminding myself the choice I made and that was to serve and be a possibility for abundance to occur in the world.
Creating abundance became a game worth playing for me. It is a game I have committed myself to play even if things wouldn’t turn out the way it SHOULD, regardless of the outcome or the way I expect it to happen.
Bucky made me realize to let go. Let go of the past. Let go of looking good. Let go of my perception of who I am. He taught me to embrace every breakdowns and never give up. Bucky inspired me to see what kind of difference an average woman like me could make in the lives of my fellow human beings.
The moment I saw that I have nothing to lose after all, was the beginning of the transformation of my life. I learned to love myself and really forgive myself and made every moment of the day that I work for as an answer to the question, “what do I choose to use my life for?
Abundance. That is what I stand for.
Marsel Fuertes Tomambo
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